We are grateful to our friend, Sandy White Hawk, who presently serves as president of the NABS board of directors. We are thankful for her leadership, wisdom and kindness, and we are honored that she has shared with us a reflection she authored after spending time in Canada witnessing the testimonies and hearing the stories of residential school survivors.
Sandy’s work as an advocate for Indian boarding school survivors, adoptees and those placed in foster care over the years is commendable and inspiring.
Once You Were Children
by Sandy White Hawk
Once you were children
Innocent with no thought that evil or harm existed
Your hearts were pure and trusting
You played without fear
Until they came and took you
Until…….…That first day of school
When they took your clothes, your toys, and your hair, your name
No talking, no laughing, no friends
Only crying, thoughts of home, wondering when you get to leave
Then they took your innocence, dignity and trust
Then……….You became victims
Once you were children
Then you became victims
Victims who were at the mercy of those who only knew darkness and evil
Victims of evil and harm that words cannot describe
Some of you came home
Some of you wandered for years before you found your way home
Some are still wondering in pain, shame and confusion
Some never made it past the school yard gate
Left to lay in unmarked graves
Those who made it home……
Their bodies carry the scars seen and unseen – spirits broken
Their hearts walled up – not able to trust – show or receive love
Lost in the swirl of alcohol and violence that repeated for generations in your families
and communities – only because that is all you knew
Carried these wounds and scars in shamed silence believing the lie that Indians are
less than human.
Then……….You spoke
Told the stories of those prison schools
You shared your pain – encouraged each other
You found sobriety and peace
You found friends and laughed again
Then……….You found healing
Then you became survivors
Once you were children
Then you were victims
Then you were survivors
Survivors who walk the Red Road – with pride and dignity
and with the strength of your ancestors
Now you are warriors
Taking back your language
Healing in ceremonies
Warriors who carry the battle scars of brutality
Some scars invisible to the eye yet deep and permanent
Warriors who bravely tell their stories to their grandchildren
So they understand……….
So they can have compassion to understand some of that pain they still see
You tell our grandchildren so they know the legacy they come from
A generation of warriors who
Once were children
Then were victims
Then were survivors
Who are now warriors
Warriors who we honor today – their relatives can stand with pride of their strength
A community who is here because these warriors gave them life
Warriors who share their stories – breaking the silence – mending the sacred circle of life
Once you were children
Then you were victims
Then you were survivors
Now you are warriors
“I wrote Once You Were Children as a reflection, after three days of witnessing testimony as an Honorary Witness at the Truth and Reconciliation on Residential Schools in Canada. Montreal to be precise. Once You Were Children was my way of expressing what I heard from residential school survivors about the insidious evil they endured, their unwarranted experiences of pain, and how they were victimized. However, I did not view them as victims. That is not how I saw them at all. Instead, I saw them as warriors. To me they were and are warriors who were captured and still managed to make their way back to us. It is from their experiences and stories that we learn what keeps culture, heritage and the spirit alive. Their experiences and stories remind us who we are: a beautifully resilient people whose world view is one of ceremony, connectedness and compassion.”
Sandy White Hawk
NABS Board President
[Bio]
(Once You Were Children first published in The Change Agent, March 2019.)
